Dude you guys are not even gonna understand half of what I write this week. Like most of it was normal but some people cannot be described, you just have to be there. I think I just have to try and tell you about Frances. She crazy. We have been helping her daughter clean out her house (that was our mold poisoning incident last week) and they got in a little battle so the daughter left and we were left alone...with Frances...you guys, she slays me beyond anything I have ever experienced. So the first time we met her was my birthday on Monday night. We were looking for her daughter and she answered the door. An 86-year-old woman with an Irish accent and just crazy lip gloss and like the whole old lady dressed up thing going on. She was telling us how she hated her accent and how she wanted our American accent (she stopped us every other word to tell us we're beautiful). We asked her what her favorite Irish word was and she's like "gotahell" we just died oh my heck. So she takes us inside because the Bachelorette was on and she is more religious about that then she is about Catholicism. So she watched it and showed us her wedding pictures. You guys I felt like I was in The Quiet Man the whole time we were there. But she's a hoarder so I got over that real quick. We literally hauled 70 lamps down to her mold basement. Trust me, I counted. She lives in this HUGE house built in the 20s. We took the elders with us the next day to help her un-junk her entrance because no one would rent from her cause they got sketched out when the walked in. It's a good thing cause there was some heavy dressers and stuff. But that's beside the point. The point is that she was obsessed with all of us, especially Elder Jensen cause he looks like that guy from Twilight. Like we would be talking and she would just interrupt and tell us she wanted to adopt us, or she liked Elder Jensen's teeth, or she liked how Elder Durkin is tall. At one point Durkin literally fell off his chair laughing because she was telling us about her childhood in Ireland. I wish everyone in this world could meet her, she puts Bob Hope to shame. We went over last night and she kept swearing and her daughter was like "mama, don't swear, especially in front of them!" She just looks at her daughter with this paint-peeling look and says "someone has to teach them!"
That was pretty much a paragraph of futility trying to explain that woman, but on to the next! Jk I'll spare you from talking about people you'll never meet, but I just feel super lucky to meet so many crazy people and become friends with them. So we went to this place for dinner on Friday night cause we were starving. It was called "The Last Stop." After eating there I took it as meaning the last stop before death? Or maybe the last stop till I throw up everything I ate in the last week? Or the last stop to spirit prison? Oh my heck if my stomach recovers from the mish it will be a miracle.
Remember when nothing went wrong the first 2 months of my mission? Haha jokes on me our hot water heater went out this week so it has been cold showers for us. I'm tempted to go little house on the prairie and start boiling water for showers. Mmmmm better not. At least no one has broken into our place like half the other sisters in this mission so I ain't complaining. I got my pepper spray Pa so calm down. Oh can I get a pic of our kitchen table? It's weird how many people ask about it when they hear how many people are in our family. Okay and while we're talking about it just so everyone knows I had my first "thing" with my companion. She wanted to buy orange juice and I think orange juice is a waste of money. Like why drink your money? It's like $8 a bottle here! So now y'all know I'm not perfect and things bug me too haha. I got over it real quick don't worry.
Oh my goodness I have to tell you about Florence! She is the daughter of Francis (bat crazy lady...see above). She is just so grateful that we were able to help her, I gave her a Book of Mormon the second time we went over there and she read some. Mostly she was interested because she sees how happy we are. Anywayskies we ended up having a lesson with her and she wants to be baptized. We had a 2-hour lesson cause she was like "I can stay longer, can you tell me why you don't drink coffee? Or how you feel about the sabbath?" It was one of my favorite lessons so far, she is just the sweetest lady of my life. She's like, give me a couple days to stop drinking coffee and stuff, she is so willing to make the change...what a pure woman she is. YOU GUYS WE ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE THE CHURCH. She has been looking for 53 years and we have it right in front of our faces, do we take it for granted? I know personally that being here has opened my eyes to how lucky I was to be brought up in this church with the gospel right there, accessible and easy to understand. I might have told her about me and Travis and she seriously died she thought it was the coolest thing...good thing it is ha.
I think a lot of people listen to us cause kids our age aren't really religious so they think we're interesting...and then we sneakily slip in the message of the restoration haha oops! Oh this family in the ward had a huge birthday bash for us...so much freakin food...dat ox tail though. Jamacian food never would have been the ideal for a birthday party before the mish, but now it's just the coolest thing ever! I feel like I've gotten to experience every country without actually going there...I'm so glad to be in NY. Our church is moving from the condo into the ghetto downtown Far Rockaway! Our building is still getting worked out in Belle Harbor so pray that that goes through...yeah. It was our last Sunday in the condo yesterday..it was kinda sad people lingered after church cause they didn't want to leave, but the members in the branch have such great faith and they will go wherever The Lord wants them to.
Well obviously I'm still having a ball here, last general conference in one of the talks a man said: "this isn't missionary work, this is missionary fun!" Hah well there ya go! I love this gospel and I love the people here, and it's just the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. We only have 2 more weeks till transfers so it's weird to think it's gonna change but I know that God puts us where we are supposed to be and I trust Him completely. Anyways in the words of Francis "hope ya have a grand evening!"
Pictures: some selfies with the girls, our birthday party with Yolanda, me and Bianca, my fav Hatian baby girl, and of course...FRANCIS!!!